I would like to think that as I am getting older I am also getting wiser. That might not always ring true, but what I learned recently is that when it comes to love, I am no longer a woman who will settle. I was the reigning queen of hunting out the broken and often broke men and wasting my time and resources "fixing" them and trying to train them to be the man I wanted them to be (or more importantly the men their parents should have taught them to be). This past relationship I vowed to myself to do everything I could to be the opposite of what I normally do. Don't move them in right away (I am the worst at that), stand up for myself, but more importantly to listen to all of the screaming fiery red flags. I am happy to report that although I am back to being single, I am very proud of myself for realizing that I can not "fix" a man, I don't want to "teach" him how to be the man I need, and to not take 2 or more years to figure that out.
What was shocking to me I must point out is how many women in my life suggested that I do stick it out, try to teach MP how to be romantic and chivalrous, and thoughtful. Give him more chances, talk it out with him, and it seemed funny to me because how often when I did those things did it a) not work out and b) did those exact same women tell me that you can't change anyone. I think there can be small modifications in a relationship like putting the seat down, using a coaster, separating laundry by color, etc. However there are certain fundamentals in every relationship that if are missing ruin any chance of a healthy progression. To me, and this might just be me, teaching a man to buy you flowers when you have had a bad day is just as ridiculous as having to teach a man not to beat you when his favorite sports team loses. You shouldn't need to do that. Next time, buy yourself the damn flowers, along with a new vibrator and lose the boyfriend.
Just a suggestion :)
Back to hunting I go.
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