this is getting out of hand...

I have serious writers block this morning...I think I need coffee.  It's cold and foggy and cuddling up with a warm cup of joe sounds delicious.  Cuddling up with a handsome man named Joe sounds delicious too...but alas. 

Here is another example of an attempt at communication with a fellow from Match.  Grab your coffee, read, and enjoy my misery.




So I have live up here 7 years

So do you have fun weekend plans ?

What you think if we talke or tex ?

Dan , your cute two !!


I think I am going to move to the moon.  They have coffee there right?

...for example...

Text from one of my Match suitors last night:

"Why u so busy lol  were about to eat ...bbq pulled tri tip sammiches"

                                                                                                               (no response from me)

"It was yummy!"

                                                                                                                 "Nice."

"U should cook dinner for me :P"




                                                                                                             (no response from me)



I rest my case.

Waging a war on LOL

Mistakes in grammar and spelling have always been a pet peeve of mine. I am not the smartest person in the world, I make mistakes all day long, but some things like simple spelling and grammar are inexcusable when you reach a certain age. While there are about a billion examples of this I have decided to wage a war on the term "lol". I.effing.hate.lol. I hate it whenever it is used. Back in my golden days of college when the Internet felt like it was just being invented and I spent every waking minute on instant messenger the shorthand terms: lol and lmao were born. At the time it was needed, as your fingers were flying across your keyboard writing an entire paragraph (single space, times new roman, for all of you college-going folk) in a matter of seconds. Now it has morphed from a simple, "I am laughing out loud at what you just said...er typed" to an "I have nothing else to say" or, "I am extremely awkward and think everything I say is funny or should be taken as a joke but only if it offends you". For the love of all that is holy and sacred in this world STOP USING LOL AT THE END OF EVERY SENTENCE!!! You might say "Wow easy with the anger, I never use lol or if I do I am literally laughing out loud and therefore (by my standards) actually type out "holy shit I am literally laughing out loud". I am not yelling at you my dearest of dears, I am using this blessed soap box to vent my anger and frustration at the goons I have interacted with in my recent return to online dating. I know you all were wondering when I was going to bring that up again. I returned a few weeks ago...I have been silent since...no new MP posts or anything....soooooo? I have not posted anything because I have hidden myself away in my darkest of closets with a pillow over my face to muffle my horrified screams. WHO THE HELL ARE THESE GUYS? Mowgli, the little boy who was raised by wolves (yes talking wolves and yes it was Disney, but just go with me on this one) had better grammar, spelling, and communication skills than most of the apes I have encountered on Match. Recently I was responding to an email and a little "advice" bubble popped up that suggested: when sending an email be sure to check your spelling and use correct grammar; this can make or break a connection with someone. Bless the elves at Match for putting that bubble there, but I feel they are not getting the message across LOUD.ENOUGH. I think it should be a huge banner, in size 40 font, across every screen you click on--email or not. Last night I got an email that had so many misspellings ("Ur'll" instead of "you'll", or be a big boy and just type it out: "you will"....ooooh now isn't that sexy?!) I could hardly read it, and 4...yes 4...lol's. There was nothing remotely funny about the email, I mean other then the fact that this 35 year-old man was trying to be smooth and was coming across about as smooth as sandpaper on a sunburn. Not one part of the email warranted a lol. **Please note my previous statement that we should stop using lol entirely, but being that this is a new war I am waging I understand if it takes some time to sink in** However when you are peppering your random, weird, void-of-puncutation sentence with lol's because you are horrible at communicating like an adult then you my friend are failing...miserably. I call to you my literate army of dedicated followers to aid me in this attack on ridiculous conversational fuck-ups and stop using lol. Tell your friends, tell your family, yell it to random strangers on the street as they hold their children and run. Stop using lol. You are not really laughing; you are making yourself look like you can't think of anything else to say. The conversation is over. Move on to a new topic...like finding me a new boyfriend...or boy toy. Get me out of this Match.com nightmare!


P.S.

Writing this made me frustrated, and being single makes me even more frustrated so I thought I would put a picture up (that I did not take--thank you Google images) of Christian Bale because he is an absolute dream boat.  Mmmmmmmmm.  Ok now I am happy again.

Kisses.