Gone fishin'

Sometimes I wish there weren't so many fish in the sea.  Recently I have found myself wishing I was back in "the olden days" when you got to a certain age you were just paired up with someone.  Wam bam you had yourself a husband.  Forget that you were 12 and he was probably your cousin, that is neither here nor there, the point is you didn't have to go on countless blind dates or battle through myriads of men looking for a mother or a meal ticket.  I am sick of the dating world.  The other night while talking to a dear friend of mine about my past relationships my roommate interjected by asking me "have you ever dated someone normal?!" and I thought about it for a second and after much serious contemplation with lots of eye squinting (squinting helps you remember those that you choose to forget...trust me) I could only think of one person that I have dated that was semi normal.  I use the word dating with him very softly as it was more of a friendship that turned into us living together...in a one bedroom...one bed...ok you see where I am going.  So technically that wasn't really "dating".  There was no "I love you", in fact I remember the first and only time he said "I miss you" and it was weird.  Ok so ya, I have never had a "normal" relationship.  After being single for over a year...yes over a year you heard me right...and after several failed attempts by my lovely friends to set me up with someone I have ventured into the world of online dating.  **HUGE GASP**  I know I know!  I have to admit I fell for those eHarmony commercials like a lead balloon.  It was bad.  Not to mention the months and months of my friends suggesting...ok demanding...me to try online dating.  I guess my endless cat stories are getting old and they would rather hear something other then what Lyla did this morning..I can't understand why.  Anyway, I signed my single self up for online dating thinking, hoping, wishing, and yes praying that something would happen that would give me something else to do on a Saturday night other then drink wine and love on my cats.  Not.that.I.am.complaining.  *Ahem...haters* Well my fair weathered friends let me just tell you the online dating world is NO BETTER then wandering into your local watering hole and meeting all of the creepy-mc creepers that are there giving you the googly eyes.  The way online pimps get ya is to send you ENDLESS emails about so-and-so and how they could be a match, or how they want to communicate, or whatever and you get these ridiculous questions and weird "ice-breakers" that make no sense and then when you try to communicate you can't tell if your damn message was sent or if you sent it 4 times on accident and now he thinks you are a stalker...amazing.  PLUS...and not to sound shallow, I know Victoria's Secret isn't beating down my door for me to do a cover shoot, but FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS CLEAN AND HOLY these men are NOT attractive.  Now I don't need me some Christian Bale look alike...I would LOVE it...but I don't NEED it.  See what I have learned in my old age?  However some sexual attraction would be nice!  Some sort of...oooh he's cute...would be preferable!!  Like I said before, this is not the 1700's when all I have to pick from is my cousin, or the widower black smith with one hand.  I SHOULD HAVE SOME OPTIONS!  So yes, after my first few weeks of online dating I think it is safe to say it is no better fishin online then it is fishin in a dive bar...and at least with a dive bar you have booze and we all know everything is better with a little booze!!